Everyday is a challenge

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The other day I came across an article, on Facebook, entitled, “A Day In The Life of Eating Disorder Recovery,” by Margarita Tartakovsky, and it really struck a chord with me.  A girl, who I had been in treatment with earlier in the year, posted this and I am truly grateful that she decided to share it.  I’ve been having kind of a rough week, eating disorder wise…I’ve been stressed, overwhelmed, and in some sense unmotivated. I haven’t been giving my all to my recovery and as a result I’ve been a little down in the dumps and disappointed in myself.  In all honesty I am just so far away from living a life free of my eating disorder that I can’t help, but get discouraged and a little depressed, because my e.d. voice is so dominant and ever present.  One of my biggest wishes is to have just one day in my life without any horribly destructive and negative e.d. thoughts. I just want to experience a life when I am not consumed by my diet and also my own harsh critiques of my physical appearance.

After reading Ms. Tartakovsky’s blog, she herself is in recovery from her own eating disorder, I felt that my feelings and struggles were validated. To hear that even someone who has been in recovery for a significant amount of time, and who is doing well, still has to fight her e.d. voice daily, made me realize that this is going to be a life long battle.  I just need to keep fighting and secure certain tools that will aid me in my recovery.  I especially liked how Ms. Tartakovsky, when she was struggling, used skills such as doing a reality check with someone she trusts or journaling about the life she wants to live.  Both of this strategies I can use and apply to my own recovery.  So even though this week has been hard, I’m not the only one with an e.d. who is having a rough time.  Eating disorders are miserable, painful, and have to be fought on a daily basis.  I just need to work on getting myself stronger so when I am forced to go to combat with my e.d. voice I am better armed and prepared for a battle.  I must keep reminding myself that I can do it.

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Here’s the link to the article: http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/2011/02/a-day-in-the-life-of-eating-disorder-recovery/

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